New Microaggression Hotline Turns University of Oklahoma Into OU Day Care
A new microaggression hotline service is being introduced at the University of Oklahoma, effectively turning the campus into what could be called “OU Day Care.” The new service is a godsend for the perpetually offended high school student who is trapped in a solidly red state, and is wondering where to go to college.
In the politically correct world of academia, the greatest fight is against bullying, microaggressions, and assisting in recovery for those whose feelings have been hurt. This kind of garbage would be expected from an Ivy league school or a university in California. But Oklahoma?
According to John Hall, chairman of the hotline company, the service is urgently needed:
“Incidents of discrimination, bullying, harassment, and misconduct continue to be serious issues on our college campuses,” he said in a news release announcing the hotline at the University of Oklahoma. “All too often, these incidents go unreported. Safe Campus provides a neutral, centralized, and safe medium for members of the campus community to report incidents and obtain help in rectifying concerns…”
He should have added, “In the last century, our greatest fear was nuclear war. But today’s millennial doesn’t possess the basic social skills to deal with the everyday conflicts that occur in the real world.”
How may we coddle you today?
The new “bias hotline” will be a 24/7/365 year round service offered by a company in California, and will be staffed by multilingual life savers. Students will be able to reach the hotline by phone, text, or web chat.
It’s unclear how someone in California is going to help a quivering student in Oklahoma, but maybe they will be directed to safe space locations around campus and survival tips for once they shelter there.
The university will pay $15,000 annually for the service. However, they are only permitted five calls a day. If that number is exceeded, there will be additional charges.
The microaggression hotline number has not been revealed yet, but we’d suggest 1-800-IMA-PUSY.
University of Oklahoma, you should be ashamed. In fact, now that the school’s student council recently decided the motto “Boomer Sooner” is racially insensitive to Native Americans, maybe the school’s catchphrase should be ‘Boomer Snowflake?’