‘Human Pups’ Fetish in England Proves Some Men Should be Put Down

 In Satire, World

What are human pups?” Human pups are the latest example of why our world continues its descent into madness. The trend consists of men who enjoy dressing up and role playing as dogs. A documentary has been completed that follows some of the estimated 10,000 men in the United Kingdom who are into the “pet play craze.”

human pups

What the…?

One of the men featured in the documentary, titled Secret Life of the Human Pups, is a 28 year-old Oxford graduate named Kye. He insists the fetish is not a mental illness, saying:

‘Puppy play is definitely not about sex, it is a form of escapism.’

Whatever. The most pathetic case in the film is that of Tom, a man who becomes “Spot” the Dalmatian. A 32 year-old theater technician, Tom describes his puppy love this way:

‘You start chasing puppy toys. You go so deep into the head space, you crave it and want it. It’s just magic.’

Tom’s obsession with becoming Spot caused the breakup of he and his girlfriend, Rachel. She admitted she didn’t understand the idea and didn’t want to understand it. She really hated the flea problem she experienced each time Spot came over. Plus, she probably didn’t want to ever be charged with bestiality.

She adopted “Spot” from a pet play shelter several years ago, just days before he was scheduled to be euthanized.

Bad dog, Spot!

Rachel’s last ditch effort to save the relationship came when she gave Tom an ultimatum of getting neutered or she was leaving. He refused. She says the two are still friends, but she is no longer Spot’s bitch.

Tom’s immersion into his alter-ego has become so intense that he sleeps in a dog crate at night, claims to have a new owner named Colin, and has spent thousands of dollars on his dog suit, which includes a breathing tube.

His only regret is that, even as Spot, he still can’t lick his own genitals. Tom’s efforts have paid off though, as he won the Mr. Puppy UK crown last fall and is on his way to compete in the Mr. Puppy Euro in Belgium. No wonder terrorists want to blow that place up!

Has civilization gone to the dogs? Yes, it’s a dog eat dog world we live in but, if this kind of behavior/mental illness continues to spread, mankind has definitely stepped in it.



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