Florida – Farting Customer Charged With Assault With Deadly Weapon

 In Domestic

Broward County, Florida (yeah THAT Broward County)- No, this is not satire, but it’s not exactly what you’re thinking. Hell hath no fury like a farting customer- particularly a woman- in a check-out line.

Shanetta Yvette Wilson and John Walker were both in the check out line at a Dollar General Store in Dania Beach on November 25. Wilson suddenly farted loudly as she was standing next to Mr. Walker.

He didn’t appreciate it.

The Miami Herald reported,

Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was in the checkout line at the Dollar General store on 120 S. Federal Hwy in Dania Beach on Sunday evening. John Walker, the customer standing next to her, got into a verbal dispute “in reference to the defendant farting loudly,” according to the affidavit.

OK, so what next? She pulled a “lock back knife” out of her purse, “opened the knife and told the victim she was going to ‘gut’ him.” Then she pulled back her right hand as if she was preparing to stab the man.

Walker told police he was afraid she was going to stab him.

Police were called, and they located her  short distance away. Mr. Walker identified her as the suspect. She was arrested for Assault With a Deadly Weapon with intent to kill. (No, not for the loud fart, but of course none of us were there to know how bad the gas fumes impacted Mr. Walker. The police affidavit didn’t mention the odor, just the noise). Her bond is set at $2,500. She was taken to the Paul Rein Detention Facility in Pompano Beach.

The photo of Shanetta Wilson doesn’t seem like a woman. But since it came from the Broward County Sheriff’s office, we have to believe it’s correct. Of course that county has serious trouble counting ballots, so I guess we’ll see if they picked the right photo. Just remember: if a woman  in the same check out line farts while you’re standing next to her, just hold your nose and let it go.

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