Dueling Pythons in Bangkok, Man Gets Attacked on Toilet

 In World

A Thai man is lucky to be in possession of his manhood after a battle between two pythons ensued while the man was using the toilet. Attaporn Boonmakchuay, who lives near Bangkok, was using a “squat toilet” in his bathroom when a 10-foot long python came up through the plumbing and latched on to his penis.

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Time to freak out…

Attaporn called out for help, and it took thirty minutes for he, his wife and a neighbor to free Attaporn’s junk. He passed out after getting free from the snake. It’s no surprise that the incident has sparked nightmares worldwide.

The man is now recovering at a local hospital and seems to be doing well. A hospital spokesperson said:

“He has a really good attitude…even though his own wife and children were in shock. He’s been smiling and giving interviews all day from his bed.”

Attaporn, who does not condone snake-on-snake violence, said the battle between his python and the intruder was an epic one. “This snake was not going to let go. And I knew it wasn’t a ball python, since it went for my penis.”

He said his wife first asked, “Is that a snake in your toilet, or are you just happy to see me?” before seeing the look on his face telling her this was no joke. Attaporn also said the battle of the dueling pythons was much worse than the crabs he has had in the past.

Happy to be on some amazing painkillers, he says his doctor’s main concern for the snake charmer right now is infection. The last thing he needs is another STD, or snake transmitted disease.

What happened to the snake?

Emergency workers dismantled the toilet, freed the snake, and set it free in a nearby jungle.

After being released back into the wild, the snake told his buddies, “You guys will not believe the s!*t I’ve seen today.”

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