Breaking: Mad Dog Mattis has a Field Day in DC

 In Military, Satire

Breaking: Mad Dog Mattis has a Field Day in DC

It’s Field Day today, as General “Mad Dog” Mattis came to town for a big clean up event.

Of course, someone tipped off Barack and family, so they fled to Dubai, the V.P. and certain members of Congress have been waving white flags (that’s racist) on the Capitol steps. Folks, the Marines have landed in DC.

General James Mattis is now in charge

Retired General James “Mad Dog” Mattis is really  M.A.D.

“I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all.”

Yes, Donald Trump, we waterboarded the Supremes. The court ones. They blubbered like babies pledging to stick to the Constitution. Now THAT’s making America great again.

Guantanamo Bay

We’ll be refurbishing Gitmo, and to h*** with Obama’s desire to close it. It’ll have plenty of new residents when we’re through pitching members of Congress like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, John Kerry, and their ilk… well as all the RINOs in there. We’re sure they’ll love their new accommodations and medical plan. And the free room and board will save the taxpayers billions.

Hillary has been indicted. Scratch that, we just heard that she was arrested and taken to USP Leavenworth before the trial.  Huh. How did that happen? And who has the d*** key? Never mind. Just open the door and pitch her in there. Bubba is lonely.


Mattis has ordered that all federal agencies be shut down – the Federal Reserve, IRS, BLM, USFS, EPA, Energy, Commerce, etc. All gone. Taxpayers no longer will have to pay their salaries. The Marines have landed.

All U.S. debts to other countries have been rescinded. They can pay for their own d*** crap. As for the Middle Eastern Muslim countries – uh…what Muslim countries? We gave them new carpet, if you get my drift.

YouTube Screenshot of Carpet bombing

The General is rather tired after his ordeal, so we’ll let him rest. In the White House. With his feet up on the desk in the Oval Office. And if anyone has a problem with it, we’ll just roll a tank over ’em.

“Demonstrate to the world there is ‘No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy’ than a U.S. Marine.” Gen James Mattis





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