Which Bathroom Does an Ecosexual Use?
What is an “ecosexual” you ask? Basically, it is a person who makes the land their lover. This individual might have intimate encounters with plants, dirt, trees, and fantasize about Mother Nature to achieve romantic and sexual feelings toward the environment.
The term “ecosexual” was coined by two women who, on May 1, 2014, married the soil. Yes, you read that right. The two were attracted to the soil for its ability to give life and its beauty. You can bet they got down and dirty on the honeymoon. However, we can’t confirm if they did indeed roll in the hay.
How do I know if I’m an ecosexual?
According to the two women, Beth Stephens and Annie Sprinkles, an ecosexual is someone who likes to:
“……talk dirty to plants, kiss and lick the earth, bury themselves in soil and do nude dances while the environment watches on. They also swim naked in natural waters, hug and stroke trees and give the earth massages.”
But if you’re a closet ecosexual, where can you let your freak flag fly? The “Ecosexual Bathhouse” is a series of rooms located at the Melbourne Royal Botanic Gardens in Australia.
Participants can sit in a bathtub full of dirt, wear surgical masks with grass growing out of them and even stroke plants in the various rooms. Worried about catching an ecosexually transmitted disease?
Is it sanitary?
Safe ecosex is definitely practiced at the facility. Each person is required to put a condom on their finger before stroking the shrubbery. The condoms are ribbed for the plant’s pleasure.
Apparently, the Bathhouse is socially acceptable enough that it is funded by taxpayers. The business received $90,000 in funding from the Melbourne City Council.
At least with all the transgender talk these days, we don’t have to worry about which bathroom ecosexuals will use. Just like a bear, an ecosexual poops in the woods.