Marine’s Christmas Fantasy
Marine’s Christmas Fantasy
My fellow Americans, as you know, Barack and family are on their way to Hawaii, the V.P. is spending the holidays at his old stomping grounds at the Betty Ford Clinic in Palm Springs, and the Congress is busy counting their Christmas envelopes from the lobbyists after their recent spending spree. Soooo, we called in some favors, talked to a few people, and gathered up a squad of Marine grunts and have taken over the government.
We took care of some problems
All the Supremes (the court, not the singing group from the 70’s), are being waterboarded as we speak to you tonight, until they profess allegiance to the Constitution or sent to Gitmo. (And yes, Gitmo is still open in spite of Obummer’s threat to close it).
The prisoners at Gitmo are on their way to paradise and the promised virgins.
Kerry’s passport has been pulled and he is stuck in a steam bath in Lithuania with some chick named Deshawn.
We have dropped off Hillary in ISIS territory to join them until we get around to her. IF she’s still alive by then. Which is problematical at best.
Pelosi, Reid, Lynch, Ryan and Jarrett with the rest of treasonous cadre are being frog marched out of the buildings across town to be held in the D.C. drunk tank until we get around to them. RINOs are squealing like pigs pledging loyalty to my presidency.
Fixed the lights too
We have ordered outside lights at The White House to be red, white and blue with all of the “Merry Christmas” ornaments put in the front display.
Good riddance to some
We have all the board members and executives of the lame stream media in jail, along with Zuckerburg, waiting for their court dates.
We caught Eric Holder sneaking into Mexico dressed as a woman and our border patrol agents are giving him a taste of ‘Fast and Furious.’
The following agencies are closed …IRS, EPA, Energy, Education, Commerce, BLM, Federal Reserve and a dozen others. We have canceled all U.S. debt owed to foreign countries…We just ain’t going to pay them… F’em.
Our Military is carpet bombing the Middle East as we speak. Our Special Ops people are taking out all ISIS fighters, followers, families, and goats (Hillary, McCain and Rubio included).
Banned and Booted
We have banned Sharia from our country. It is not compatible with our form of government and is not acceptable to a freedom loving people.
We told China to back off from the Spratly Islands and have given them five hours to stop hacking our computers, or we will fry their hard drives back to chunks of plastic…
And now I’m going to have an early dinner and then meet with my military leaders including General Mattis (brought back from retirement).